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Burnie's avatar

I live in Washington. I have a trans-identified child. I do not endorse gender-affirming medical care.

Every single medical doctor and mental health provider I have encountered in Washington has not just affirmed my child's chosen gender identity but pushed us/bullied me to either go to Seattle Children's gender clinic or put my under-18-year-old child on cross-sex hormones.

When my child first told me they were trans, I was blindsided and completely clueless about what that meant. When I called the gender clinic at Children's hospital, seeking guidance and/or a referral to a psychologist who could help us all explore/understand what was happening, the intake person told me that the gender clinic offers no psychological services, only medical interventions and that they could refer me to a mental health provider to write a letter so that I could bring my child in for cross-sex hormones. I called about 5 of the mental health providers on Children's referral list, and each one did indeed subscribe to the affirming model. One went so far as to tell me that conversion therapy is illegal when I said I did not think we were ready for hormones, that we were just trying to understand what was happening.

One mental health professional told my child that her job, as my child's counselor, was to catch me up and educate me because I did not know any better - this was at our introductory meeting. This same counselor wrote a letter to my child's school to "educate" them on how to treat trans-identified children, complete with referrals to the Trevor Project and a person who could come into the school and provide training to the staff and teachers.

A pediatrician offered my child cross-sex hormones after knowing my child for 10 minutes. Another one repeatedly pushed me to take my child to the Seattle Children's gender clinic, also after knowing my child for 10 minutes.

An orthopedic surgeon identified my child as the opposite sex in the operation notes based on my child's chosen name and pronouns.

My child used the opposite sex locker room at school and competed against the opposite sex in a full-contact team sport without my knowledge. The school district's policy states that parents should not be informed of a child's gender or pronouns unless the child consents.

One of our state legislators has a trans-identified child, and that legislator is behind every single bill that denies parents' rights and pushes for gender affirming care.

The entire system is sick and stacked against those who do not endorse gender affirming care. If I could leave Washington, I would.

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Cate's avatar
Mar 3Edited

"One mom refers to her 11-year old as her “spiritual leader.” Another notes that a gender doctor meeting with her 8-year old “wanted to make sure to let our daughter steer the ship in decision-making.”

These people seem afraid of their responsibility and authority as parents and instead cede it to "experts," which is rarely good policy, but never when those "experts" are gender docs. Handy that those docs -- playing the suicide card -- further alleviate parental responsibility to make sane, protective choices for children by telling these parents they really have none if they want a living child.

As is widely known, most of these kids have co-morbidities -- autism, ADHD, depression, OCD and others -- and a significant number are experiencing the dissonance and distress of realizing they are gay (and perhaps being bullied for it). Rather than striving to resolve these mental health concerns and build their kids' resilience as they go through natural puberty, these parents accept -- perhaps even embrace -- relief from those responsibilities through a dubious diagnosis of gender dysphoria.

One can and should have compassion for families caught up in this madness, which must be agonizing. Yet that does not erase parental responsibility to protect and guide minor children. It seems as if the parents in these affidavits needed a hefty dose of Abigail Shrier -- and another of common sense, and another of moral courage -- before they yielded their children to this cult.

Thanks Glenna, for another illuminating post. I admire your resilience in staying sane when routinely doing deep dives into madness.

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